Day one May 13
Firstly, thanks for all the comments, I appreciate both the well-wishes and the, er, hateration. Like Barry Bonds and Dick Cheney and I imagine all great men, your ire, it only fuels me. Actually I know that you all only care about me, and thus: the update.
Long story short, I’m fine. I got up at 6 and drank my quart of salt water. It was gross, but not *that* gross - I got about 3/4s through just gulpgulpgulp, and then the last bit was a little harder, but… not bad. I managed to get back to sleep within five or so minutes. My last meal, Monday night, was some red beans and rice and a buffalo chicken sandwich at Tonic - I know, I know, what’s the point of even dieting if I’m not going to make a serious effort outside of the fast? But… I’d been good for most of last week, stop judging. Anyway, I guess I expected… I dunno… more poop, or something? I honestly went into this worried that I was going to have to make Sherpa like race me to the office in the morning to avoid shitting my pants. Instead… totally normal day on that front. I didn’t even have to poop at work. What the hell?
As for the lemonade… it’s fine. Good, even? It tastes alright. The maple syrup gives it a little more, uh, body, maybe, than what you’d really want out of some lemonade? The cayenne pepper though, that’s the fucking kicker. I mixed it all and took it to work in my fancy new water bottle, and when I left it tasted nice - refreshing, a bit sweet. Good. By the time I got to work I knew I’d made a mistake - the cayenne, as it settled or something, just kind of bled its spiciness into the rest of the lemonade. This continued all day - my last glass was absolutely scorching, a bit tough on my throat. Tomorrow I’m just bringing the cayenne powder in, and I’ll mix there.
To summarize: no unusual poops today, I feel basically ok, though food smells really, really fucking good to me. I have noticed I’m grinding my teeth a lot - not sure what that’s about. I’m not super-hungry. The very suspect scale tells me I weight 322.6 today, but earlier this morning I checked and double-checked its results and it took a few times before it’d read the same thing twice in a row, so I’m not sure how useful the weight count exercise is really going to be.
Finishing up my laxative tea now - day one basically done! Fast = 10% complete! I imagine tomorrow is where it will get harder…
Ian May 14
I have a similar problem when I add cayenne to hot cocoa. No matter how much stirring I do, it all seems to settle into the bottom of the pan. Then, if Jessica gets the second cup, she complains about the heat while I notice a lack thereof. It seems that cayenne is a tricky beast, buoyancy-wise. Good luck on day two.