Mostly Semantics

Fuck, I miss food. It’s not that I’m hungry, actually I find my 700-800 calories of syrup a day is more than enough fuel for sitting in front of the computer and walking home from the metro. I’m not getting lightheaded or anything like that. I just… I miss food. A lot. I went back into whole foods and couldn’t help torturing myself, walking around, smelling things, looking at the samples and the salad bars longingly. I was good, though, no cheating. I’m almost halfway through this thing. Tweaks put me in touch with her trainer, and I will probably have a consultation with him next week, which after beach week should become a regular thing. I’ve been thinking of tons of different ways to alter my diet to maintain and build on whatever gains I make during the course of this thing. That said, when I weighed myself earlier, it was still stuck on 354. WTF, scale? Oh, on the pooping front, the only new development is a teensy bit of actual poop in the evening. Not quite a phantom, this evening. Probably chock full of toxins! Take that, toxins! Terri tried to convince me today that I needed to get those Japanese detoxifying foot pads. The internets are very skeptical about these. I gotta say, I am too. Do all my toxins circulate through my feet somehow? That doesn’t make sense to me. But it *does* make sense to me there would be accumulated toxins in my gut. That… that I could see.

Cayenne pills are really helpful. Still no juicer… I mean, I should just drive over to Tweaks/CV/SBug’s house (don’t you guys have a name for it yet?) and get it, but… what if I pass out? Anyway, it’s going fine. Still no work poops, much less pants-poops. Incredibly liquidy in the morning now, virtually nothing in the evening - though not nothing, which is more than the last two days. I don’t really get it - I thought this was supposed to make me poop away my toxins. I know that I have toxins - I’ve gotta be full of them. Where is the weird poo? Oh, my scale this morning said I weighed 319, then when I got home 354. It’s a pretty great scale.

So really not a ton to report. The cayenne is irritating even when I mix it in directly… so I figured out a way around it - cayenne in pill form! This is, perhaps, my first deviation from the rules as given, but I feel it’s a pretty minor one. I grow weary of juicing lemons. Tweaks was supposed to bring me a juicer tonight, but forgot. Even though it was written on her hand. Thanks, Tweaks. Overall, I am growing tired of the lemonade. Something about the maple syrup… there’s too much, um, flavor, or something. It affects my sinuses, I think. I feel it behind my nose. My poops were the same, basically, as yesterday - liquidy in the morning, phantom when I got home. No pants-shitting yet. In fact, no work shitting yet. It’s basically nice - I’m not even particularly hungry, though food smells fucking great. Food always smells fucking great. I did have to catch myself a couple of times today when my instinct just said “pick up that food there and eat it.” I weighed the same earlier as I did yesterday - 322 and change. I could stand on that thing three times and get three different weights, though. Maybe I should start averaging? Meh. Sleep now.

Firstly, thanks for all the comments, I appreciate both the well-wishes and the, er, hateration. Like Barry Bonds and Dick Cheney and I imagine all great men, your ire, it only fuels me. Actually I know that you all only care about me, and thus: the update.

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This one’s been a long time coming. Many… probably most of you… are familiar at this point with what my plan is. This is all part and parcel of what I’ve been terming “A Renewed Commitment to a Healthier MBG.” Just in case I haven’t told you already, though, allow me to explain. (more…)