Mostly Semantics

What could possibly explain a more-than-two-month absence from blogging? Simple, really:

1. Dabbling in neo-Luddism.
2. Someone smashed all my fingers with a hammer and I’ve been re-learning to type using my tongue and nose.
3. I swore off live music and have nothing to talk about.
4. My internet fame was beginning to interfere with my personal life in creepy (but erotic) ways.

I’ll let you decide which one of these is true (hint: it’s none of them.) Obviously I have a whole summerful of stories to tell you, concerts I saw wherein there were pretty girls in attendence (or even, in some cases, dogs and babies!), summer movies (did you realize there’s a NEW BATMAN movie? I wonder how it is!?) - but for my return to the internet, I want to give you guys a little something extra. A little something called visual pizazz. PHOTO AFTER THE FOLD.

In a time-tested internet tradition employed by some of my favored bloggers, let’s do some man-on the street subway ad reviewing, shall we?

The below was spotted only because one day last week Caseus and I had to move forward a car because the one we were slated to ride was dim/dead. Is this ad ALWAYS in the car right in front of us? I don’t know. In fact, I don’t know why this part of the anecdote is really germane to our criticism at all, but CV said I needed to include it for context’s (length’s?) sake, and he’s the one who snapped the photo, so consider him(your)self indulged.

So basically, here we have Jeremiah (and please, I beg of you, click through for the full-size image). He’s out in the woods, you can see, intently practicing his fake white guy ninja skills, apparently by himself (fake white guy ninjas love solitude.) Can you think of anything more awesome? I am having a hard time. OH WAIT - what if Jeremiah had a dramatically receding hairline? That would make this scenario more appealing, right? So now… imagine what he must be like at work. Well, let’s see… he works as some kind of C++/Python/Oracle/Linux developer, so, I’m guessing, just off the top of my head, that at work, he spends a lot of time staring at a computer. RADICAL! I’m guessing that occasionally he and his coworkers discuss their projects and compare solutions for programming algorithms, but much of it is probably just, y’know, coding. INTENSE! I’m also guessing that, since Jeremiah is out in the woods alone doing some tai chi bullshit with a sword, that he’s incredibly self-serious and ‘disciplined’ and will look down on you if you come in hung over. ZANY! Jeremiah’s coworker Adam fucking LOVES anime, dude. Can you IMAGINE!? How much fun must he be!?! He would totally love to invite you to a ‘Con’ with him. Their coworker Beth (the office hottie (oh yeah, she’s married)), she plays lute at renfairs on weekends when she can, for spare cash. EXCITING! INNOVATIVE! COMPUTER SCIENCE!

(It may be worth disclosing, here, that obviously this is the most hypocritical teasing imaginable, as the biggest reason I haven’t blogged has to do with sports video games. I… I’m sorry.)

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