Mostly Semantics

I can’t believe tomorrow is my last day. Time just flies, huh? Only one more gross quart of salt water at 6am. I just cracked open my third (of four) jug of syrup today, so… gonna be a lot of leftovers. The lemon juice in the fridge was juiced Monday night, so, probably past its prime, but, eh. I’m not getting up early and getting new lemons, that’s for sure. I went today and got a membership at the new WSC in c-heights, so, that’s exciting. There are also plans afoot for a personal trainer. What’s diet without exercise, right? Yeah. Still no wii fit, though it appears it’ll be delivered tomorrow. Scale holding steady at 349. I think tomorrow I’ll try to stop by the zoo and weigh myself there. Really looking forward to orange juice on Friday. ORANGE JUICE!

I’m barely even noticing this thing anymore, except for when I walk by a restaurant. Other than that, though, I could basically do this indefinitely. I mean, not from a health standpoint, I guess, I probably need protein or something at some point. But… I’m not hungry. I’m not tired. I feel great, axetually. I don’t even have the phantoms anymore - empty out in the mornings and I’m set for the day. I am going to have a lot of leftover syrup though - I got enough for 12 servings a day every day, and really I’m going through like 7-8.
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You know what I love about this? That I don’t have to come up with titles. Or, I mean, I guess I could, that’s not a rule or anything, but… once this trope got started I felt compelled to see it through. Actually, not unlike the fast itself. Also love that I was completely right about this being blogger gold. I singlehandedly set our blog’s hit record last week (yes, singlehandedly - nobody else ever writes here anymore. Layabouts.) Today/yesterday (Monday) I set the single-day record. The people love the poop stories. And the reckless behavior. And it’s definitely not that I just posted every day. It’s the borderline crazy plan being executed! I see now - act out, be famous. I’ll see y’all in rehab. Oh, I *did* have my first work poop today. Sort of. I was there late and felt the usual evening urge, but as usual, only a phantom poop. *sigh*. Phantom poops at work are much worse, because no reading material. I’d wait it out for awhile at home, browsing the Sporting News (the rolls royce of bathroom reading), but a minute or two at work and I’m closing up shop. Scale this morning said 348.

Well, first ‘interesting’ poop today. I mean… not really, but. I woke up and drank my salt water, then I went back to bed, but since I had already slept ’til noon, I was ready to read rather than sleep more. I was near the end of the book I was reading, and I definitely was just holding it in for too long as I wanted to finish. As I read the last sentence I practically ran to my bathroom and just barely managed to position myself before dumping out. The salt water is running through me like a sieve at this point - 15-20 minutes and it’s time.
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Oh man, not so much to report today. I slept in, as it’s Saturday, and laid around most of the day, so only had 6 servings of the lemonade. Got the juicer up and running today, and let me say, it is fucking incredible. It’s also moving here with the new roommate (who, btw, how do you not have a blog name yet? Let’s ponder this.) and I can’t wait to be done with this so I can see what it does to, oh, fucking everything. (more…)